I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
