If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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