I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
