I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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