dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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