Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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