no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
