She said her name was "party"
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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