FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
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She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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