CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize