I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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