Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
