also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
