Me too!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
