scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
