They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
