awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
