do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
