So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
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