I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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