the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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