I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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