Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
