you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
