You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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