I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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