i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
