You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
