You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
