i would punch a child for taco bell
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
