my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
