Screwed.edu
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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