I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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