Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
