Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
