his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
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Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
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Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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