i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
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You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
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Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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