Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
