College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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