I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize