For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
