pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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