two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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