I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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