He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
and she was petting her beer can
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
