Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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