I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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