He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he was CRYING into my vagina
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
