If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
