someone owes me an orgasm
I want you more than these girls want KFC
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
