it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
