I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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