he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
