Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
