Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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