She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
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She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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