Kiss
Puke
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
