Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
