There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
