Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
