You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
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