I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
