i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
