my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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