dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize