oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize