i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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